


black hole

by petiterosebud



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Graphic Depictions of Illness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-18 03:36:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5896603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petiterosebud/pseuds/petiterosebud
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which the darkness inside of kylo is a physical substance, and it's a long and painful process to regurgitate it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

it happens the moment after he leaves the interrogation room.

he can feel a churning in his stomach, a strange ache that spreads from his navel up to his chest, and that’s when he realises he needs to get to a fresher quick.

he rips his helmet off as soon as he steps into the room, throws it to the floor carelessly and gags over the toilet.

his stomach contracts so harshly he feels the pull of every single muscle.

it’s a struggle to breathe.

he feels this thick substance struggle against the pulses of his throat, and one more constriction of his stomach has it stretching from his lips to the water of the toilet.

kylo’s eyes widen.

it’s pure black, stretchy and thick.

and tasteless.

he spits out what remains in his mouth, grimacing at the sensation, awaiting for more to rise out of him. it doesn’t.

just as quickly as the ache appeared, it is gone.

kylo washes his mouth out with water, taking deep breaths to calm himself, and that’s when he senses snoke’s call.

he doesn’t bother picking his helmet up.

* * *

 

again.

he’s laying in a thick blanket of snow. the planet falling apart around him, and again he feels a familiar ache in his stomach.

he struggles to turn to his side, hissing at the sharp stabbing pain in the side of his waist.

slightly more comes up this time.

and it hurts, it burns on its way up, and with the wound, every time his stomach contracts he shouts with the pain.

it looks strange against the snow, as if a black hole appeared in the ground.

with the ache gone, he turns onto his back, awaiting for the ground to swallow him up.

and he stares up into the sky. the stars twinkle in the distance and he laughs to himself softly.

it’ll be over soon.

he hears the crunching of snow in the trees.

he doesn’t bother turning to look.

hux appears in his eye line.

it’s not over yet.

* * *

 

he doesn’t tell snoke of the strange sickness.

it hasn’t occurred in nearly a month and he’s grateful for it, any more gagging and his stitches would constantly be ripping open.

the flesh has somewhat healed, but it still hurts to move, and it irritates kylo to no end that he’s been forced into this bedridden state.

snoke explicitly stated that far worse will happen to him if he didn’t rest for once, fully knowing that kylo hated being stationary for too long. he needed constant movement. and with this confinement he felt restricted. this was torture itself.

he’s trying to watch a holovid when he feels a presence.

for a second he thinks it’s snoke calling for him but this is different.

it feels softer, and lighter.

‘are you alive?’ are the words that break through with a touch of anger.

it’s her.

he debates replying.

if he doesn’t, snoke might punish him for pushing her away. he knows their next move once he’s fully healed is to search her out and bring her back.

‘yes,’ he hisses back at her.

he can feel her seething wrath, and he smirks at that.

quickly however, it simmers down to…guilt? regret?

and she’s gone.

he’s in the fresher for a good half an hour after that.

choking and gagging on the black gunk that forces its way out of him. by the time it's over, he's in a heap on the floor beside the toilet, skin damp with sweat, shaking from the sudden and long onslaught.

he knows now that whatever this is, it’s because of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly this idea came from spirited away, with the scene where haku coughs up that black slug and then all i could think about was every time kylo interacted with rey he threw up a part of the darkness inside of him.


	2. Chapter 2

he doesn’t hear from the scavenger for a week. he’s glad for that, no more black bile being coughed up. however, he does feel these waves of pain in his abdomen throughout that week, as if it wants to be released from the confines of his stomach.

 

the meeting of the week is going by slowly, as per usual, and he finds himself thinking about her. what could she be doing to him, is her mere presence in his mind poisonous? he sighs softly, wishing he could rub the sleep dust from his eyes but his mask is on. taking it off mid meeting would only draw attention, and he wouldn’t be able to pretend he’s paying attention anymore.

 

‘i let you live’

 

he groans internally, no, not now.

 

he ignores her, and the sharp jabbing pains in his stomach.

 

she hasn’t left yet, he can tell, he can still feel her soft aura.

 

_just focus_ , he tells himself.

 

he swallows down at the first constriction. he has to keep it down; he has to stay in this meeting. snoke had ordered it, and if he suddenly left, well his secret won’t be a secret anymore.

 

kylo can feel the beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he struggles to keep whatever is inside him down.

 

‘you feel weird,’ he hears her say, to herself really.

 

that’s it, he’s bolting out the room, and he has barely made it to the end of the corridor when he yanks his helmet off, throws it down, and bends over, gagging.

 

his chest burns with the strain of trying to control it, and it hurts, fuck does it hurt as it reaches his throat, cutting his air supply for a moment before another gag has it coming up in strange lumps.

 

that’s new.

 

he continues throwing up, watching the black mess grow on the floor.

 

‘what the fuck is happening?’ she watches on in his mind.

 

he coughs up more. he’s becoming dizzier with each heave, the world around him becoming a blur.

 

_leave me,_ he shouts, _leave me alone._

he knows what she must be thinking, he’s truly rotten on the inside.

 

slowly, it all calms down, and he finds himself stumbling to his bed chamber. the moment he enters the room, he falls to his bed, face stuffed into the pillow.

 

he never wants to move from here again.

 

whatever is happening is worse than any torture that has been inflicted upon him before. perhaps this is the work of snoke after all. perhaps, he’s trying to associate her with pain and sickness to derail the compassion he feels for her.

 

he sighs, if that is all true, it’s not working.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much of an update, but i wanted to address just how painful this process is, like it's the fucking worst kinda stomach pain you can imagine, and then it's thick tar like stuff coming up to your throat, that you choke and gag on at the same time, until you finally get it out of you....yeah it's really gross. bleh.


End file.
